Like That Other Dad…

I wish I were different. I’m not good at acting or sounding religious. I don’t say spiritual things and if on occasion I do, it seems about as natural as wearing scuba flippers on a bicycle. I’m certainly a believer, but I don’t think I’m good at it. I pray, but those prayers do not resonate with confidence. It seems to me I rarely know what God really wants. How should I know! He’s God and I’m as far from that as anyone should want to be.

Folks like me are honest with Him. When we mess up, we say so. We apologize, ask forgiveness and state our plan for changing. We beg when desperate. We know when things are totally in His hands. It seems like He says, “No” to me a lot. I’m not complaining. He is just and his judgments are right. I’m just explaining how I feel about all this. Those who never struggle with the “No’s” baffle people like me. Those who have a grand faith really break my heart, because I feel so weak and inadequate in their presence.

Have you ever struggled with the idea that some of God’s children that are simply not favored? (Some of my strong friends would say, “This is why you experience these tough times.) Perhaps—but I don’t resent God for being who He is or feeling the way He does. I believe He loves me, forgives me, saved me and will invite me into heaven when this deal is over. I belong to Christ. What else can I say?

I believe that God is good and capable of anything He wishes to accomplish. If He says no to any of His children, it’s because it suits His purpose and is best. The Old Book says, “Love does not seek its own.” I love Him, so I do not make demands. I pour out my prayers and trust He will do right by me. And when I beg for His help, like the dad in Mark 9, I say, “If you can, please help me.” Then He tells me, “All things are possible for the one who believes.” At that moment, I fall at His feet and proclaim, “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.” (vs. 24).

I don’t have great faith; but my doubts aren’t about God, His righteousness, grace or power. I struggle with my own stumbling faith; that my needs or desires matter to Him. I’m a dad. I know what it’s like when your child asks for things that are not what is best. It breaks my heart when things happen in life, that we can never understand on this side, and perhaps even the next. So, like that other dad who professed his faith in Jesus, but just as passionately begged for help to overcome his unbelief, I fall into the arms of a Father who understands me and is utterly trustable.

telemicus out

1 Responses to Like That Other Dad…

  1. Rick says:

    I don’t know if this helps but your not alone, I too struggle with these same things and don’t always understand why, but this I do believe, some of my struggles stem from the fact that I can’t understand how I can be forgiven for how I have lived parts of my life. I guess that means at times when I’m weak I just can’t forgive myself, not that he hasn’t already forgiven me. I just hope that as I continue in my walk those moments become fewer it’s what I pray for and strive towards.


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