The Better Side of Best

Now that the holidays have passed and the New Year is underway, I think its time for some reflection, direction, correction and action. I love new years. To me, it’s the best time for new starts and my annual do-over. I’m not big on resolutions and all, but I do like goals. If you’ve been with me a while, you might remember that I asked my family to make new years resolutions for me last year. I asked them what I should work on. The one clear dragon that cried out for slaying was “being fierce.”

Being fierce is what I have always done. It is my control mechanism. It’s how I managed life. I am not brave enough to confront most things head on; I have used moods and the force of fierceness to communicate what I didn’t want to say. If I disapprove, a look will communicate it without words. Irritations are subject to attack with silent disregard and gruff attitude. If words are required, the arsenal is rich; the weapons are deadly, the knowledge keen and the warrior skilled.

I’ve learned a few things about all this that you certainly already know. I’m just letting you know so that if you see me being less than my best, you can let me know its happening (we all have hearts with blind spots and veiled lampshades.) So here are some things I learned in 08 that I hope to make better use of in 09.

Pain does not have to be acknowledged to be valid. It’s enough that we know and respond appropriately. Your personal world does not owe you Understanding of your day or life; don’t respond to it as though it did. In other words, it’s not their fault if you overslept, ran out of gas or forgot a meeting. Frustration is a result of expectations that go unmet. Often, those who frustrate us don’t even know what our expectations are. It is not their fault if we are frustrated at work, with our mate or about our unfulfilled dreams.

Some look at themselves and want to be better. Many look for that magic moment, that word of wisdom, that great epiphany that will make them more loving, eager to exercise, kinder to children and old folks, more fond of vegetables, floss regularly, drink more water, pray, lose weight, love the lost, volunteer in the community and even smile.

There is no such moment, word or epiphany coming. To move to the Better side of Best takes Reflection so that we can see who we really are, Direction so that we know how to go, Correction so that we don’t continue behaviors that lead to less than our best and Action so that we don’t look at the calendar in December and ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I make any progress this year?”

I’m going to try to move this year from this side of my best to the better side of my best. It’s not an easy climb, but the view from the better side of our best is one that makes us better people to be with. I hope you will climb with me.

telemicus out

2 Responses to The Better Side of Best

  1. cindy smith says:

    I really like this. It is very inspiring and really good writing I think. I am glad you broke the news to us dreamers that the magic moment is not coming. I know it, but we all need reminding and some often. Its a tough pill to swallow. Turns out we have to “just do it” after all. But… its worth it. Thanks for a good encouragement.

  2. Terri says:

    i like the fact that you asked your family for input regarding your “improvements needed”. We rarely see our own flaws; or we choose to ignore them. But the people we interact with on a daily basis can probably make a list! We seem to know exactly what someone else needs to do to fix a problem/ make an improvement, but when it comes to self-awareness, we can’t seem to look very closely in the mirror. We might end up seeing the wrinkles and the blemishes, and discover that we aren’t perfect.
    I think I’m going to ask for input from my family & friends. A performance review,.rom the people that really matter. Hopefully they’ll want to keep me on. I want to climb to the better side of my best mountain. I think you make a great ”Sherpa”.

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