This week I think I want to revisit the topic of love based on two things. One, a comment that my friend James left last week – and two, some study that I’m doing in John 21. The question is, “Is it alright if I can’t pull off Agape love?” It’s not that I don’t want to love on the deepest level, but some days, I’m just not there. Oh yes!! I certainly have loved that way before, and I still do at times. But I have to admit, most days that lighter love is the best I can do. 

Don’t get me wrong… it’s still love. It’s not cheap or imitation. I’m genuine in my love – even on those days when I can’t pull off Agape. On those days, I still want what is best for those I care for. I want to do the right things. I want to serve God. I want to love my neighbor. I want to cherish my kids and even want to pet my dog. Having that said, simply because you can’t see it does not mean that agape depth is not there.  

But deep in my soul, at a moments notice, I can find it. It’s like money that you’ve saved back and you don’t use for everyday, but when there is a special need or a great opportunity – it’s there. I’m not saying that agape love shouldn’t be the norm. Perhaps it is the norm more than we think it is. Those who love best often don’t feel they do it well. Those who think they are great at it, usually are not doing as well as they imagine. 

In the mid 90’s, John Mellencamp released a greatest hits album, but he didn’t call it his Greatest Hits. He called it, The Best I Could Do. He didn’t want to claim that any of his songs were great. He was simply saying, “This is the best I could do.” I don’t like it when people pass off their wrongs by saying, “I did the best I could.” But when it comes to love, no one knows the depth of affection we feel within our own souls. We display that affection through the actions and attitudes in private moments not visible to the world. 

In John chapter 21, Jesus asks Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly agape me?” Peter can’t step up and make that claim. In light of his failures the night of the crucifixion, he couldn’t justify it. But when he said the Jesus, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you” he was saying, “You know my heart and what you see in my heart is the best I can do.” And Jesus accepted it with loving grace. He didn’t question it, didn’t scold him for his weakness, didn’t point out his shortcomings but in return for Peter’s genuine offer of the best love he had to offer, Jesus gave him the care of his most cherished possessions, His little ones. 

I’m just saying that we need to love the best we can and trust that our Lord will accept it with grace and grow it into what we would all like it to be. Love is a heart thing. Don’t beat yourself up for the moments when your love is not what you feel like it should be. Say to the Lord, “You know my heart and how I want to love, today this love that I’m offering is the best I can do.” 

telemicus out

Did you ever watch a movie that is clearly not worth the time you spent with it? In our family, those movies are on “The List!” It is a dubious dishonor to be on “The List.” Among the titles on “The List” (cause I know you’re curious) Fargo, Road to Perdition, The Good Girl, Lord of War, Marie Antoinette and of course there are others. I am going to add another film to this list of lame films that I don’t feel 100% about, but I’m adding it nonetheless. Come Early Morning. 

Come Early Morning is a movie with a good point but horrible screenplay, mostly weak acting, poor plot and the end is iffy. (I’ll take a weak film if the end if redemptive.) The only plus in terms of acting is Ashley Judd. The film came out last year and went almost directly to video stores. The one thing that came out of it was a line from one of the characters that stuck in my head. Like most good lines, it came from somewhere else, not this lame film.  

Ashley Judd’s character is visiting an older married couple who fight constantly. She asks the woman why she stays with this horrible man and fights through this torture every single day. Her response is the line we are here to consider. She said, “Darlin, love has reasons that the heart knows nothing about.” This line is actually a quote from Pascal who said, “Love has its reasons that Reason knows not.”

Sometimes love makes no sense at all. I’ve known a lot of people who stayed with mates that clearly deserved to be alone. I’ve seen the unforgivable, forgiven. I’ve seen patience that seemed super human. One of the most amazing verses in scripture says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This love makes no sense of course. It’s beyond reason or understanding. 

Brennan Manning notes a line in a French Easter Liturgy that says, “L’amour de Die est folie – the love of God is foolish.” It’s the nature of love to be foolish. It sees more good than bad, it takes offense too often, and it really is patient and kind. It returns good for bad. When selfishness (the opposite of love) makes demands, love goes the extra mile. Yes, love has reasons that are beyond what the heart can grasp. (If I have to say out loud that love has limits, even God’s love, consider it said.) 

If you find such a love, cherish it. You may know a thousand reasons why another person shouldn’t love you… and even more why God shouldn’t. But the love of good people and the love of God is foolish. 

telemicus out

Well its football season again. And with football season comes another birthday for me. 48. I read the other day that the phrase we have long associated with football will now be a part of the NBA… upon further review. The NBA will use it, not to see if one of their refs has blown a call, (on purpose or otherwise) but to make sure that they can pinpoint the guilty party in an on court fracas or the magnitude of a flagrant foul.

I like official reviews when they get it right of course. Not like in the playoff game the Steelers stole a couple of years back. But I’m wondering from time to time if we wouldn’t like to have them in everyday life. For example; upon further review, let’s go out to dinner. Or; upon further review you can’t borrow the car this weekend. Or; upon further review I would like to take what I just said – back. 

I asked my students to write on an index card any question that they would like to ask their parents if they knew the answer would come back honestly and totally answer. Some questions were silly; “Mom do you dress like that to embarrass me or do you really think it looks good?” Ohters were sadly serious, “Dad, why did you choose mom?” 

You see there are moments in life where we look back and ask questions that require further review. But we can rarely change the call. We made choices with eternal consequences and those things that have eternity attached to them chart the course of life. One of my favorite lines from the movie Gladiator is, “What we do in life echoes in eternity.” It’s a great truth and sometimes the simplest of decisions can have a devastating affect on our future.  

This does not mean that we should stand as if paralyzed by the fear of making a bad choice. Neither should we sit and stew in regret over our own “blown calls.” It means we should be wise, seek good counsel and proceed with confidence once we make our choices. I hope the football season goes well for my team, I hope the NBA figures out how to clean up their mess. And upon further review, I hope I am a better person in the second half of my life than I have been in this first half. 

telemicus out